Multitool
by Starblaze and Solaris
Summary: Lily has got something interesting for Christmas, Sirius has acquired a rubber duckie, Hestia has abandoned her best friend to the advances of a fool, and James is being daft, interfering git. There isn't much of a plot, really. JamesXLily unrequited, intended to be humorous, if anything.


StarblazeAndSolaris SAS SolStar

**Star: I cannot be blamed for this plotless contraption. It is all Sol's fault.**

**Sol: Nonsense! You're the one who… actually, you're probably right, for once. Don't let it go to your head.**

**Rating: K+, for teenage stupidity and teenager-y threats.**

**Genre: Is plotless a genre? If not, Friendship/Romance.**

**Disclaimer: We own nothing but the multitool and our notepad, in which this drivel was born.**

**Multitool.**

**James PoV**

Lily laughs, throwing her head back and letting the beautiful sound peal across the common room. Wow. I stare at her for a moment, captivated by the sound of her joy, the sight of her fiery hair shimmering in the firelight. She is sitting in a little circle of friends by the fire, in the seats we sometimes use when our own, in this corner, grow too cold. But all thoughts of fire and the snow falling outside the window are lost to the moment. She is so beautiful, and she really has no clue.

"Hey Sirius?" I ask.

"Yeah?"

He's sitting, no, lounging sideways on an armchair, legs hanging over one armrest while his back rests against the other one.

"What do you reckon she's got in her lap?" I ask. I've been watching for a while, and although her arms move slightly, her hands remain in her lap, fiddling with something.

"No idea," he yawns, looking up from the rubber duck he stole from the first-year dorms. He's been trying to charm it to quack at irregular intervals for the last half hour, and so far all he has managed to achieve is an extremely irritated Remus.

"Honestly James, if you want to know, go and ask her! I'm trying to give Pete a hand with this transfiguration homework here." That's Remus. Glaring at me and being angry while he absently turns the waste-paper basket into a pillow with a swish of his wand. He really is a genius, but yours truly is so much better looking. I grin.

"I reckon I might just do that then. After all, Evans might be missing me, I only spoke to her at breakfast, transfiguration, potions and charms today. And in the Great Hall before lunch. And..."

"We get the picture Jamie boy, just go chase down the poor thing. Your stalker act is getting in the way of my magnificent new friend's talent." Sirius is looking proudly at his damn rubber duck.

"Fine! As my company is clearly not appreciated, I shall find someone who wants to talk to me to converse with!" I stand, posing a moment with my nose in the air in my best I'm-a-snotty-git act.

"I'm surprised you know that word, James." Pete may be quiet, but he has a caustic wit. That hurt.

"Actually Pete, I explained it to him on Wednesday after McGonagall told him to find time to converse with his accomplices outside of her classroom."

I pout at Remus.

"That's mean!" I tell him.

"But true."

I sigh. Unfortunately. A chiming laugh echoes across the room, accompanied by a few hysterical giggles from her friends.

"Prongs, if you do not get your sorry self over there and talk to the girl I will drag you there by the ankles." Remus' glare is seriously evil. No, wait that's Sirius. Remus just looks evil. Aren't I hilarious?

"Prongsie..."

"Come on Sirius, why are you two ganging up on me?"

"Make it three. Shoo, you stupid antelope."

"Antelope! That's cruel! You are all cruel! You shall rue the day you turned me away!" I raise my hand to my forehead dramatically, pretending I am about to swoon.

"Prongs, we've talked about this enough, now go, before I set Mr Quackers on you."

"Mr Quackers? Really? That's not exactly original, Sirius." I duck as he lobs a cushion at me. "But I will go nevertheless." I spin on my heel and step off across the common room, eyes pinned on my target.

As I approach them, I felt the usual turmoil of larvae hatching in my stomach at the sight of her. As usual, I marvel at her beautiful emerald eyes, her fiery hair, her pale, freckled skin, her slim-but-not-skinny, elegant figure. I want her so badly, but not just for her physical perfection. I mean, Merlin, she is smart, funny, pretty, witty, fun to be around, caring, (except to me,) and so much more. No wonder. _I'll ask her. Maybe, as it's boxing day, she'll be feeling cheerful or something and say yes?_

"Hey Evans." I lean on the back of an unoccupied chair and grinned at her, running my hand through my hair. She sighs, her pink lips parting slightly.

"What now, Potter?"

"I just wanted to ask..." Then I see what she is holding. Clasped loosely in her left hand is a lethal looking thing like a pair of scissors, (Remus introduced me to them when he gave Sirius an impromptu hair-cut last week,) only instead of long, flat blades in her hand, they are short and stubby, flat with grooves running across them. The handles are the same silver as the pointy bits, with black material embedded in a flowing pattern down them, making the contraption seem simultaneously elegant and threatening.

"What, Potter? I have better things to do with my life."

"What _is _that?" I ask.

**Lily PoV**

The git had turned up again, and I was not happy about it. It was Christmas, for heaven's sake; could he not give me some peace to talk to my friends for once? Mind you, said friends were not doing the best thing possible, which would be to give him death glares, but instead abandoned me to stand a couple of feet away, by Gideon and Fabien. Brilliant sisterly defensiveness, guys.

"What _is_ that?" Yippee! He isn't asking me out! I tried to stop my smile from sliding onto my face, but the result was not entirely successful. It was neither a smile nor a smirk, more a lopsided expression of disbelief, one side of my mouth drawn upwards. Potter, on the other hand, was simply looking like a lost puppy, all confusion and bewilderment. Honestly. These purebloods could be so stupid sometimes.

"It's called a pen-knife, Potter. Or a multitool, on occasion."

"What does it _do _though?"

"What does a knife normally do, Potter? Grow a few brain cells and maybe you can figure it out yourself."

"Yes, I understand the bit about the knife, but I can't see any blade, does it automatically transfigure or something? And why does it have… er… Moony mentioned these once… pliers on it? What's the metal thing you were fiddling with your nails with? And the little pointy thingy on that end looks interesting..." Potter was taking a step closer with every item he mentioned.

"Step back a moment and I shall explain. This is a knife, here. This is a metal eye, to thread some string through so I can attach it to my belt or something. Here is a cross-head screwdriver, and beside it a flat-head. The last device on this side is the saw blade, see?" I fold them all out and push them back into place as I name them.

"Riiight..." He looks puzzled again. I sigh.

"Potter, what's confusing you?"

"Truthfully? Everything. Why do you want a knife? Why do you need a tiny saw? What _is_ a saw? What is the point in a... skew-diver? Also, why two of them? What are they for? And what do you mean, a metal eye? That isn't an eye, it's a loop." I sigh again. Stupid, pure-blooded moron. I suppose he can't help it, but still, it really is a pain in the neck when none of my pure-blooded friends have the slightest clue what I am talking about.

"Potter, a knife is a useful thing to have at all times, like a piece of string. It can be used to do my nails, to cut something, or, if strong enough, as a lever. A saw is useful because of the serrated blade edge. It is particularly good for cutting wood, plastics or the like. A saw is the typical tool of a woodcutter, which is a person who chops down trees. A screwdriver is a muggle tool for tightening or loosening screws, which are pointy metal things with a flat bit on one end which has either an 'x' or a line incised in it. The pointy bit has spiral grooves running along it. Screws are used to secure shelves to walls and so forth. Different screws have differently sized and shaped heads, so different screwdrivers have differently sized and shaped ends to match. Happy now? Shoo." Maybe he will go away now...

"But Evans, you only told me about one side of this bizarre contraption. What does the rest of it do?" I sigh. Honestly, that boy is too curious for his own good.

"Fine. Two more screwdrivers, a nail file and a bottle opener. Happy?"

"No. What's in the middle?" Seriously! Does he never give up? Actually, I really don't know why I am asking myself that question. It has been... oh, five years? During which he has asked me out so many times I'm beginning to think it is just habit. After all, he would never have been snogging Alycia in the broom closet the other day if he really wanted to go out with me. I digress. He still hasn't given up. He is getting on my nerves so badly now...

"A pair of pliers, complete with wire cutters."  
"Evans, what do they do?" I give up. Watch out Potter.

"Potter, if you don't leave this instant, I will curse your sorry little self from here to Cornwall! Move it!" He takes a step back, then smirks.

"I knew you liked me Evans. Don't you live down there?" How on Earth does he know where I live?

"How about this Potter. If you don't go away right now, I will use the knife blade on my new Christmas present to ensure that you will never have children!"

He raises his hands in the universal signal of defeat and turns, swaggering off to his friends. A smug smile touches my face before I wipe it off as Hestia returns to her seat.

"That boy is mad about you Lily. I reckon, if you give him some hints and a chance..." Hestia may be one of my best ever friends, but this is one thing we disagree on.

"No. If I have to say it until my face turns blue, I will not willingly go out with James Potter. Ever." She sighs, and I grin, relaxing as the conversation returns to the usual pleasant mayhem. I lean forwards, engaging myself in conversation and forget the toe-rag.

_**Finis**_


End file.
